Free Bird

Okay, so this is a little more personal. (Which is hard to stomach because I hate blogs of self-centeredness...but I'll justify that this is general enough.)

Almost one year ago I moved halfway across the country in the effort to start my life over with a clean slate. I'd know only two people in the whole state, & would have no pressures on me to be the person that I'd been for I have no clue how long. I was tired of having to be so good & just being so nervous in being judged all the time.

I just don't feel like people are that open to friends of theirs experimenting with the idea of who they are once they've grown accustomed to them being a certain way...or at least not right in front of their eyes anyways.

There were so many things that I had been wanting to do or get involved in, but just didn't feel like I had the support to check them all out. (Not that no one cared about the same things as me, but they didn't have the motivation to do it with me.)

But when you have to go out & learn an entirely new place & find out what you want to do & where you want to try to make friends, I think it helps.

The changes that I've made in the last year have been noticeable.


But, I also have to wonder, how many others are trapped? Trapped in an existence where they are what they are expected to be, but never getting the chance to wonder if they really want to be all that or if they want more. I can't believe that I'm the only one. For a country of people who are stalked by the media for their low self-esteem, can I really believe I was the only one who was suffocated into something less than I am?

No. I don't.

I just wonder how many others will find their way out before it's too late.