Racism & Me

For my work, we've had a 3-part training on diversity over the last few months, & I felt an obligation to write down some things I wanted to say about race...

~I can definitely say that I've become more aware of situations that I am in where the color of my skin could be working to my advantage. I do a lot of apartment searching & job interviews & I can't help but wonder if my race will help me.
(Especially I wonder if a black couple in a long-term relationship would be evaluated as if they were married in applying for an apartment. I was in both places, but I don't know if that happens for everyone.)

~I have shared about how uncomfortable I was when I walked out of an apartment building (which I had been looking at) & saw a few black men across the street from me. I don't know if the discomfort was because they were black, or because they were men.

~I have been actively been trying to learn more about the perspective(s) of black women so that I can better relate to some of my students, since I still feel very ignorant in how they're lives are shaped.

~I have been excited that many of the books we have been reading in our CADRE groups have involved African-Americans & Native Americans (& hopefully later on will include Latino/as).

~While my mother showed me the way to some avenues for understanding racism, a dialogue was never actually established.

~I became aware of White Priviledge while in India for my year abroad (with the extra restrictions placed upon me because I was White & the gained knowledge that many of the men were taught to believe that lighter skin was better). However, I don't think that I was able to transfer it as well to my life in this country until much more recently.

~I remember conversations with my friend Sarah Anderson (who is half-Japanese) on the impact of race on her life. She was disgusted with talks about affirmative action, hated that a presenter came in to talk to "all four" of the "peoples of color" by a blond-haired-blue-eyed woman, & hated the look the new drama teacher gave her when she introduced herself (with the irritation of knowing that the woman expected someone with her name to be a white female).

~I don't remember any racist comments made about Carlo when he was with my sister. I know my father would get irritated that he kept losing his job & left all the responsibility on my sister, but I think that could be because she's had bad luck with guys thus far.

~I feel uncomfortable telling people about how my sister left Carlo because he smacked her up real good (one time?) because I don't want them to assume that I'm making a statement about black men being abusive.

~After seeing my sister's child (from Carlo), I was unable to look adoringly at my other nephew. He seemed just so pasty. Julius has made if harder for me to look at white babies anymore.

~I don't remember what it was that tipped me off, but I know that I started being against Columbus Day in 5th or 6th grade because of the truth about what a bastard he really was finally came to me.